Covenant Keepers - Jan 2000 Newsletter



Previous issues are located in The Archive	January, 2000

An Exhortation…
By Marilyn Conrad

Many godly men and women with different views of marriage and divorce are called to minister to broken homes and marriages. Is marriage a covenant or a contract? What constitutes covenant? Are there scriptural grounds for divorce? Who can remarry? The answers to these questions are many and varied.

I do not defend or dispute others’ viewpoints or teachings; however, I must be true to what I believe God has shown me, based upon His Word. Let me be quick to say I do not have all the answers; I am still growing and learning.

A major concern is that Covenant Keepers, as a ministry, not develop legalistic views toward marriage. If something is legal it is acceptable, lawful, or permissible. It can be authorized or legitimate, but it can also involve formalization to the extent of stiffness, stiltedness, and rigidity. The Pharisees were legalists. They observed the letter of the law. Legalism denotes hypocrisy, lip service, and self-righteousness. Jesus called the Pharisees whited sepulchers. They knew the scriptures, dotted every "i" and crossed every "t."

The opposite of legalism is what some have tabbed "sloppy agape," showing God’s grace and mercy in every situation. There must be a balance between the two views. Yes, God’s standards for marriage (and against divorce) must not be compromised; they must be upheld while we walk in love and forgiveness. We must not judge or condemn others. God forbid! We can be scripturally correct and have wrong motives and attitudes and thereby cause much harm and damage to many.

Pride Goes Before Destruction

God has always had a people to hold up His standard for marriage. Sometimes in our zeal we forget this and appear arrogant to the point of being loud, rude, crass, and crude. We should remember that love never fails (1 Cor 13:8) and faith works by love (Gal 5:6). Our love for our mates and others is what will produce results.

Holding up God's standard for marriage is not new to this day and age. If we believe it is new, then we should check ourselves for pride. Proverbs 16:18 says, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." Perhaps this is why many, who in the beginning seem to have a strong stand and are very vocal about what they are doing, suddenly faint and soon thereafter marry someone else.

Yes, we are a minority, but God has always had a people, a church, within His church.

Covenant Keepers has been raised up to hold up God's standard for marriage. God has always called believers to do spiritual warfare and fight the spirits of covenant breaking and divorce, but too many times divorce has become the acceptable option. We are part of the army of believers restoring God's standard to the body of Christ.

It is possible that legalism in the lives of some covenant keepers has caused pastors to reject what we are doing in standing for our marriages. The spirit behind what we do precedes what we say; pastors perceive the spirit behind our words.

Before approaching a pastor about standing, be careful to check out motives and make sure to go in a humble, teachable spirit.

Right Motives

Are our motives right for desiring our marriages healed? The Lord showed me once that "when the motive is wrong, the stand is not strong." Do we desire our marriages healed for God's glory? Or do we just want to prove that we are right? Do we just want to stop hurting? If we know our motives are pure and if we go in love and humility, no man can take from us what God has put in our hearts; we need not have fear.

As shepherds, pastors hurt for their people and often give counsel based on compassion and not the Word of God. Our job is to pray for our pastors, not judge or condemn them. "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."

Judgment is more than an opinion about something someone has said or done. It is holding them responsible for not measuring up to our specific code of conduct or action (even when it is scriptural).

When we judge and condemn others (not always with our words, but often with our attitudes) we bring that same judgment back upon ourselves and a vicious, self-perpetuating cycle repeats itself. Repentance for judging will produce the necessary cleansing so that communication without walls can take place. When we forgive and ask to be forgiven, God is free to move on our behalf.

We can pray right now and make sure we are not being judgmental towards pastors and others who may not understand what we are doing.

Father, we come to you in the name of Jesus. We ask you to show us if there is legalism or judgment in our hearts towards our pastor or anyone else. Holy Spirit, shine your light into any area that we need to examine. Show us if we are arrogant or prideful. Lord, we repent and ask your forgiveness. You say in your Word that if we confess our sins that you are faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We thank you for cleansing us. Show us how to walk in love and forgiveness while holding up your standard. Amen

LETTER TO A JUDGE

A covenant keeper from Illinois recently went to court, where a divorce was granted to her husband. Though it is a difficult time she is relying on the Lord. She says, "I know that without the support of Covenant Keepers I would never make it. I am so thankful that God has this ministry to help me (and countless others) survive this great pain of divorce." She was led to write the following letter to the judge, who made it "Exhibit A" and put it in their permanent legal file:

Your Honor,

Because of my deep faith in Jesus Christ and my very strong belief that the Holy Bible teaches that divorce is morally wrong, I have requested that my attorney sign any and all papers that apply to this divorce trial in my place.

I greatly respect the laws of this court and of the land and I understand that under these laws my marriage to my husband/wife, (name) is dissolved. However, I believe that the vows I made to him before God on (wedding date) were made for as long as I live. Consequently, it is my belief that in God’s eyes our marriage is a marriage as long as we are both alive.

I still care greatly for my husband, and my children and I are extremely hurt by the step that he has taken to legally end our marriage, however, the door will always be open for his return to our lives and our home. I believe this would be God’s plan for our lives.

Thank you.