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March, 2003

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JUDGMENT
BY MARILYN CONRAD

As we stand for the healing of our marriages, God is doing more than we are often able to see. We think, many times, that God is simply healing our marriage: one husband and one wife. However, He is doing much more; He is healing families: not only the husband and wife, but the children, family members, and friends. What we are doing in believing God to heal our marriages is much more far-reaching than we realize. We are changing the direction of generations.

I was blessed to hear the testimony of a young couple who not only had a good marriage, but who also had a heart for marriage healing. The husband shared how, as a teenager, he watched his mother pray and believe God to heal her marriage and restore their home. Her stand made an impact on his life, and he affirms that the seed she planted also resulted in his own blessed marriage. A spirit of divorce was broken over their family and ensuing generations.

We know, according to Matthew 6:14 & 15 that forgiveness is absolutely necessary if we desire the healing of our marriages. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

We must forgive if we want freedom from bitterness, resentment and anger. Many times we do not want to forgive because we think, by forgiving someone, we are agreeing with the wrong they have done. However, our own emotional and spiritual healing can not come if we allow any unforgiveness to remain.

Healing is a process that takes time. We begin this process with an act of our wills, which is a choice and a decision. We choose to forgive not only ourselves but our mates of anything they have done to hurt us: any sin committed against our marriage covenant . (Ephesians 4:32)

This initial decision on our part begins the healing process. Then, as the Holy Spirit reveals other areas of bitterness and anger, we can deal with them. (Hebrews 12:15) We are often amazed at the depth of our own anger and unforgiveness. Read Ephesians 4:31 in the Amplified Bible. It says, “Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evilspeaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will or bitterness of any kind).”

I believe that judgment is a form of unforgiveness. Judgment is more than forming an opinion about something someone has said or done. It is holding them responsible for not measuring up to our specific code of conduct or action. (Matthew 7:1-2) When we judge someone we hold that person in bondage that will come back on us.

For example, if your mate is trapped in adultery (either in or out of a non-covenant marriage) and cannot seem to break loose, they have probably judged you or someone else. Look for areas where they accused you of trapping them. They may express it in different ways, but they let you know that they felt trapped.

A good example is the woman who, with her husband, committed fornication (sex before marriage). She judged her husband for pressuring her into having sex by saying, “It’s all right—we’re getting married.” The husband may have felt trapped into marrying her even though he may not have expressed it until years later. The judgment that falls on them is often entrapment in adultery and being unable to get free, even though they may earnestly desire to do so.

The principle of sowing and reaping is in effect also. A person may only sow a small seed, but they reap a large crop (bondage). What we sow always increases in God’s kingdom. The longer a sin goes undetected, and therefore unconfessed and unrepented of, the larger the increase. “For they have sown the wind and reaped the whirlwind.” (Hosea 8:7)

Before your marriage, if you were involved in fornication with your mate, regardless of whether or not you were Christians, and you have never repented for the part you played, you need to do so. Your own repentance brings cleansing and opens the door for God to work. Next, if you can ask forgiveness from your mate, do so.

Sometimes this is not possible because of a non-covenant marriage. Perhaps you could write a letter call them. Just use wisdom. One lady repented before God for her own participation in fornication. Her husband called her from out of state several weeks later, and she asked his forgiveness which he readily gave.

Another woman repented for herself and then called her husband. She said, “I know you have felt trapped, and I want to ask your forgiveness for the part I have played. It wasn’t all your fault.” He forgave her, moved back home a week later, and stopped the divorce action he had filed.

HOW TO FORGIVE

Deal honestly with your emotions

• Tell God just what you are feeling.
• Release your hurt to God so He can release His healing to you. (Matthew 11:28-30, 1 Peter 5:7, Psalm 55:22, 34:18-19)
• Encourage yourself in the Lord. (Psalm 119:49-50 NKJ, Romans 15:4 New English

Avoid Satan’s trap of judgment. (John 20:23 NKJ)

• Only God has the right to judge others. (Deuteronomy 32:35-36, James 4:11-12)
• Allow the Holy Spirit to be your judge. (Proverbs 20:23-24, 27, Romans 8:26-27)
• You can come to God with confidence because you have the righteousness of Jesus.

• Lack of confidence results in a loss of faith.

• Lack of confidence results in a loss of desire to pray and praise. (1 John 3:21-23)

God commands us not to criticize, but to forgive. (Matthew 7:1-5 Phillips)

• We must forgive quickly and repeatedly. (Matthew 18:21-22 NKJ)

• There is no limit on the number of times we forgive. (Matthew 18:21-22 NKJ)

• There is no limit on what we are to forgive. (Luke 23:24 NKJ)

• We are to conform to God’s nature which is one of forgiveness. (Psalm 86:5 NKJ)

• Deal with any hidden area of unforgiveness.

• Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal anyone or any events that you have not forgiven. (John 16:13a, Matthew 10:26)

• As an act of your will, verbally tell the Lord that you do forgive them.  (1 Corinthians 11:29-30)

• Ask Jesus to reach inside you and bring inner healing. (Luke 4:18)

MESSAGE FROM JOSHUA
FROM CANADIAN NATIONAL DIRECTOR GERRY HIEBERT

Canadian National Director Gerry Hiebert sent this message via e-mail to all Canadian covenant keepers. We believe that covenant keepers everywhere will be encouraged as they read this.

On the first day of 2003, God took me back to the book of Joshua. This has been a very significant story for me since I assumed leadership of this ministry in Canada. Over the next few days, as I studied the first five chapters of Joshua, I got a very strong sense that we, as a group and as individuals, have crossed our Jordan River and are now in our Promised Land.

Canaan was the inheritance promised to Abraham and his descendants by God, and I believe God is saying that we have moved into the land of our inheritance. The year ahead will be one of taking possession of the things God has promised us.

Many have received awesome promises from God and have prayed and waited in faith. We can learn a lot from the Israelites as they moved into their inheritance.

God led Joshua one step at a time, giving only enough information to take that next step. I do not believe that we are going to get much more than that. We must take each step in faith and obedience before God reveals the next part of the plan. Here are some steps we need to take.

• (Joshua 1:13) Step out with your promise—Joshua reminded the people that the land they were entering was God’s promise to them. It was His idea, not theirs, and they had to cling to His promises in the face of overwhelming obstacles. What is your promise from God?

• (Joshua 3:5) Step out in purity—Our hearts must be clean; we must be right with God, lest the enemy have something he can use against us. Let His spirit show you areas where you many need to repent or receive healing.

• (Joshua 3:15-16) Step out in faith—The flooded riverbed dried up only after the priests’ feet walked into the water. God moves after we go forward in acts of faith. Remember, we walk by faith, not by sight.

• (Joshua 5:3) Step out in relationship—The Israelites renewed the ceremony of circumcision as a reminder of their covenant relationship with Jehovah. It is God, our covenant partner, who will bring His promises to pass in our lives.

• (Joshua 5:12) Step out in a new provision—When the Israelites set up camp in Canaan, the manna stopped falling and they began to live off the fruit of the land. We must be ready to release old forms of provision and watch for God’s new ways of meeting our needs.

Old things are passing away, WELCOME TO A NEW DAY!

NEW PRODUCT

GO TO PRODUCTS FOR ORDERING

Covenant Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage (2 tapes–Craig Hill)

Recorded in Sydney, Australia. Craig teaches foundational truths about covenant relationships, the covenant of marriage, and what the Bible says about marriage, divorce and remarriage.

USA $10   CAN–MEX $11   INTL $14

Divorce, Be Cast Into The Sea
In 2003!