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April, 2004

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In 1999 we formed an Alumni group to encourage and promote ongoing healing in reconciled couples. Since that time we have designed a quarterly newsletter especially for our ever-growing list of healed couples. We know that continued support and prayer is needed, and are pleased to add this new page especially for our Covenant Couples. Click on the logo above to go to the Covenant Couples page.

THE ALTERNATIVE
BY CHARLES HOLLAND

As a Christian, what is your reaction when someone tells you that you have a choice? Do you believe that when you come to a crossroad that you have the option to turn either north or south? Or, do you think like the world wants you to think, as did Saddam Hussein in the first Gulf War in 1991, that there is no alternative? Just go south. For Christians, God sets the alternatives. We must choose from the alternatives He presents.

Marilyn Conrad’s book, An Alternative To Divorce, presents what we in Covenant Keepers believe is God’s alternative to divorce. Below are other examples of the the kinds of alternatives that God presents in scripture:

• Obey and be saved; disobey and be lost.
• Obey and be His child; disobey and be His enemy.
• Obey and be blessed; disobey and be cursed.

Over and over, God’s Word gives His alternatives for His children. He even states, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” (Hosea 4:6) As His children, we must select His way or be in disobedience. To walk in disobedience places us under the curse, or death sentence, to perish. We must accept His alternatives; accepting God’s choices and recognizing that He knows and wants for us the best way is a daily, ongoing fact.

No short cuts exist for incorporating God’s alternatives into our lives. We must mesh the day-to-day circumstances we face with His Word through study and seeing how others successfully apply the Word to their situations.

Many covenant keepers have a time where they question their understanding of what God’s alternative is for them. In Matthew 6:10 Jesus told us to ask in prayer that the Father’s will be done here on earth as it is in heaven. From what we are able to learn about God’s nature from the scriptures, it is impossible to believe that He allows disease, poverty, fighting, lies, cheating, divorce or hate to exist in heaven. If He instructs us to pray that His kingdom come on earth, the only logical conclusion is that He intends to accomplish this in our lives.

Applying God’s Word in your circumstances means evaluating and making daily decisions about the questions that arise in your life. Below are some of the questions that almost every covenant keeper, at one time or another (and sometimes over and over) has asked.

• “How will my mate know that I will accept him or her back?”
• “Nothing seems to have changed; how do I know God is working?
• “Why do they seem so happy and I feel so miserable?”
• “If I allow my mate to do this (whatever it might be), will they come home?”

Satan tries to confuse your understanding of God’s alternative and to short circuit you. The enemy does everything he can to prevent you from allowing God to work out His plan in your life—His best for your life.

One time my wife Rita and I shared with some covenant keepers about hearing from God in the small things. Once during the stand for our marriage, I wanted to give Rita some roses for Valentine’s Day. Another covenant keeper helped me understand that, at that time, sending roses would have put a load of guilt on Rita. But later, God used something as small as my business card placed on a fence post to reassure Rita. I wanted to do something big, but God used something simple like Rita finding that business card. After our reconciliation she explained how much finding that card meant.

God knows the best alternatives and we must be sensitive to Him. When we face questions or difficult circumstances and answers and directions are hard to discern, the best thing we can do is inquire about God’s choices.

Rita and I want to encourage you to meet regularly with a Covenant Keepers group if there is one in your area. We also urge you to come to the annual “Families Are Forever” Conference prepared to witness how God is leading you daily. (For information about the conference, click here.)

As we walk out our restored marriage and our family is healed, God continues to deal with us in everything. Because He is reconciling, healing and restoring our family, we want to display His alternatives when we make choices. We want to be a witness to what He has done and is doing for us.

Charles and Rita Holland were divorced for over three years. During that time Rita also married someone else. They have been remarried for almost 15 years. The Holland’s testimony, along with testimonies from five other couples with restored marriages, is found in the six-tape set, Been There, Done That, available from Covenant Keepers. To order this tape set, click here.