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August, 2004 |
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THE
IMPORTANCE OF FORGIVENESS Rejection from our mates and others can hurt us deeply. Words they speak and actions they take, most often, are the things that cause us to enter into unforgiveness toward them. Unforgiveness produces bitterness, and bitterness produces pain and hardness of heart. Wrongs done to us hurt our spirits and emotions, and we need healing. FILTERED THROUGH HURT From the time we enter into unforgiveness until we recognize what is happening, our lives are affected by the pain. Everything we hear is filtered through our hurt and becomes twisted, and we perceive incorrectly. Many times we think God has shown us decisions to make or directions to take, when in reality our actions are wrong because they are filtered through our unforgiveness and bitterness. We can base our decisions on scripture; however, sometimes we even the filter the Word of God through our hurt, and we incorrectly interpret or apply the Word to our situations. A NEW FILTER When we truly forgive our mates and others, we can walk in the God kind of love that Jesus made possible, and what we hear is filtered through love, not hurt. Unforgiveness opens the door to bitterness, resentment, guilt, lingering hurt, anger and continued rejection. However, God has equipped us to forgive and to be free. Forgiveness is from your heart or spirit, and as a child of God, you have the ability to forgive, even when you do not feel like it. Remember, forgiveness is an act of obedience, not necessarily a feeling. KEYS TO FORGIVENESS
When we forgive, we not only free ourselves, we free the other person to hear from God. If we do not forgive others their sins against us, our unforgiveness binds the sin to them. “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” John 20:23 PRAYER: Father, I thank You for forgiving me, and as an act of my will I choose to forgive those who have wronged me (my mate, the person they are involved with, and others). I confess as sin holding unforgiveness in my heart against anyone. Father, I do not necessarily feel like forgiving (name of person), but I know that if I am obedient, my feelings will line up with your Word. I forgive and release all bitterness, resentment, hurt and anger. I thank you that I will no longer filter what I hear through my hurt, but through love. Amen |
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EMOTIONAL
BACKLASH It had been a rough week. It caught me by surprise, because I thought I was past being affected by circumstances. Tuesday was the beginning, exactly five years to the day after my wife left me, taking our three daughters. I’ve learned that these “anniversary dates” often bring emotional backlash. It is one of those things we accept, but choose not to allow the emotions to gain control. I know God is truly in control. Wednesday, I attended a meeting at my daughter’s school. My wife and her non-covenant were there. It hurt me to see them together. (I knew with all my heart that our marriage would be restored one day, but on a day like the one I experienced then that outcome felt awfully remote.) I was amazed to see how much he had aged since I last saw him. He used to be a friend. The Lord let me understand that this man’s choices had cost him more than they had me. I felt a compassion that could only have come from God. I knew that he needed my prayers and that I had to walk in forgiveness, lest bitterness and anger take root in my heart. Thursday was a birthday milestone for my wife. I called her at work and wished her “happy birthday.” I thanked God that our friendship had been reconciled to the point that we could talk to each other. Still, I missed the opportunity I would have had to honor her and celebrate this milestone in her life. This was a special day and I wanted to be a part of it. The girls told me about the surprise party that was planned for her, and I felt cheated not to be there. By the end of that week I was feeling pretty low and discouraged. That confused me because, as I said, I thought I was past being affected by feelings and circumstances like that. So what did I do? 1. I (finally) called up a good Christian friend and shared the struggle I was going through. A burden shared is only half as heavy. 2. I reminded myself that “this, too, will pass.” Emotions come and go. God once told me not to deny my emotions; He, in His love, has made us this way so that we can better enjoy fellowship with Him and with others. I asked God why love could hurt so much. He told me that it just does, and sometimes I hurt Him the way my wife hurt me! Commitment and love have a price, and we must decide if we are willing to pay it. Jesus chose to pay the price to love me on a hill called Golgotha. 3. I remembered that I was in a war with an enemy who hated my stand. He wanted to distract me, weaken me, and discourage me. To do this, he had to use the emotions that God gave me. In response, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) I forgot to do that, and my feelings took me captive. 4. I went to my loving Father and repented, not for having feelings, but for allowing the feelings to take control over my mind and distract me from His love and power. The stand we are called to can be hard, and it does hurt at times. Hurting doesn’t mean we are defeated or have lost our faith, it just reminds us that we are “jars of clay.” We simply must decide who is Lord in our lives and press on in spite of circumstances, feelings, and the attacks of Satan. In difficult times we must remind ourselves what a great and awesome God we serve and of His promises to us. “You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.” (James 5:11) Also remember, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived, what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 |
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ORDER
MARILYN'S NEW BOOK
As we stand for our marriages, we go through five stages of spiritual growth and development, and we are being conformed to the image of God's dear Son, Jesus Christ. Our job is to give God permission to reshape our lives. In Marilyn's own words, "I am not afraid of growth and development any longer. These are blessings from God, and with joy I now ask, 'What stage is next, Father?'" This book will confront you with the truths of God's Word concerning marital separation and divorce - truths that are thought-provoking and insightful, while offering hope to build your faith. Special
Introductory Price: |
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2004 CONFERENCE TAPE SET
SPECIAL
PRICE UNTIL SEPT 30, 2004 These
tapes can be purchased individually also. Also Available: Leadership – Humbling Your Soul Through Fasting (Pastor Ken Savage) & Couple's Session – Tools And Skills For Marriage (Bob & Audrey Meisner) |
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