March, 2004

We invite you to make plans to attend the conference in July. There will be testimonies from couples with healed marriages, and your presence at the conference will encourage covenant keepers to continue to stand strong and believe for reconciliation and restoration. Click here for more details and to register.

LESSONS AND OBSERVATIONS
BY LOU BEARRY

This is an excerpt from Lou Bearry’s book, Letters to Jesus: A Stander’s Journey, published in 2002. Letters to Jesus is a collection of letters Lou penned to Jesus after her husband, Tom, asked for a divorce in March 1982. Lou stood for her marriage for about five years. Reconciled in December, 1987, Tom and Lou now have a wonderful testimony of God’s restoration power.

Lou wrote many letters to Jesus and chose 28 to share in the book. After each letter Tom tells what was happening with him at that time. The combination paints an intimate portrait of separation, divorce, Tom’s non-covenant marriage, and, ultimately, homecoming and restoration. You can order Letters to Jesus from Covenant Keepers.

In the years since Tom left in 1982 to the present, there have been many lessons learned and observations made. I want to share with you some of the insights we have gleaned from our experiences.

1. When you communicate with your mate, try to be clear-minded and self-controlled. When emotions get out of control we say things that we wish we had never said and they cannot be taken back.

"When words are many, sin is not absent but he who holds his tongue is wise." (Proverbs10:19 NIV)

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs anger.” (Proverbs19:1 NIV

"When they hurled their insults at him (Jesus), he did not retaliate, when he suffered he made no threats. Instead he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23 NIV)

2. Do not look at or judge how long another covenant keeper has been standing, especially if the time is lengthy, or you will get discouraged and want to quit. Please remember God is using their life for His glory. God knows how long it will take in your particular situation and what has to be accomplished before your marriage is restored. Your walk (stand) is designed by God for you and you alone. You are unique. You must, at all costs, keep your eyes on Jesus.

"When Peter saw him, he asked, ‘Lord what about him (John)?’ Jesus answered, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? YOU MUST FOLLOW ME.’” (John 21:21-22 NIV)

3. As Christians, many of us have preconceived ideas how God should answer our prayers, and sometimes we get discouraged when He does not answer in the way we think that He should. God will often answer prayers in a totally unexpected way. This is good training for us because, remember, God’s ways are perfect even though we may think they look upside down and backwards. Keep your eye on Jesus; He loves us and is doing the very best for us. (It has taken me many years to finally realize this truth.)

“How great are God’s riches! How deep are his wisdom and knowledge! Who can explain his decisions? Who can understand his ways? As the scripture says, ‘Who knows the mind of the Lord? Who is able to give Him advice?’” (Romans 11:33-34 Good News Bible)

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8 NIV)

There will be three additional “Lessons and Observations” here in April.