Click on the World to go to our International page!

November, 2004

Upcoming Meetings

Bible Reading Plan

AN EXHORTATION
BY MARILYN CONRAD

Many men and women of God, called to minister to broken homes and marriages, have different views about marriage and divorce. Is marriage a covenant or contract? What constitutes a covenant? Are there scriptural grounds for divorce? Who can remarry? The answers to these and other questions are many and varied.

I do not defend or dispute what others believe or teach; however, I must be true to what I believe God has shown me, based on His Word. Let me be quick to say that I do not have all the answers. I am still growing and learning.

A major concern to me is that as a ministry Covenant Keepers does not become legalistic in our views on marriage. If something is legal it is acceptable, lawful, or permissible. It can be authorized or legitimate. On the other hand, it also can involve formalization to the extent of stiffness and be stilted and rigid. The Pharisees were legalists. They observed the letter of the law. Legalism denotes hypocrisy, lip service and self-righteousness. Jesus called the Pharisees whited sepulchers. They knew the scriptures and dotted every "i" and crossed every "t."

What is the opposite of legalism? Could it be what some have tabbed "sloppy agape," seeing only God's grace and mercy in every situation? I believe there must be a balance between these two views. Yes, we must uphold God's standard for divorce and remarriage and not compromise. However, this must be done while walking in love and forgiveness. We must not judge or condemn others. God forbid! Being scripturally correct but having wrong motives and attitudes can cause much harm and damage to many individuals.

Pride Goes Before Destruction

God always had a people to uphold His standard for marriage. In our zeal we often forget this and appear arrogant to the point of being loud, rude, crass, and crude. Let us remember that love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8) and faith works by love (Galatians 5:6). Our love for our mates and for others is what will produce results.

What we do in holding up God's standard for marriage is not new to this day and age. If we think it is, perhaps we need to check ourselves for pride. Proverbs 16:18 says, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." This may be why many, who in the beginning seem to have a strong stand and are very vocal about what they are doing, suddenly faint and soon after marry someone else.

Yes, we are in the minority, but God has always had a people—a church within the church.

Covenant Keepers was raised up as an end-time ministry to hold up God's standard for marriage. God always calls believers to do spiritual warfare and fight the twin spirits of covenant breaking and divorce, but too many times divorce is seen as an acceptable option. We are glad to be a part of the army of believers restoring God's standard to the Body of Christ.

Behind Rejection Of Standing

Could it be that legalism in the lives of some covenant keepers causes pastors to reject what we are doing in standing for our marriages? The spirit behind what we do precedes what we say, and they perceive the spirit behind our words.

Before approaching a pastor about our stands we must carefully check out our motives and make sure we go with a humble, teachable spirit.

Right Motives

Do our motives for desiring our marriage healings reflect Christlikeness? The Lord spoke to me once and said, "When the motive is wrong, the stand is not strong." Do we desire our marriages healed for God's glory? Or do we just want to prove we are right? Do we just want to stop hurting? If we know our motives are pure and we go in love and humility, no man can take from us what God has put in our hearts, so we need not fear.

As shepherds, many pastors hurt for their people and sometimes give counsel based on compassion more than the Word of God. Our job is to pray for our pastors, not judge or condemn them. "Judge not, that you be not judged For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." Matthew 7:1-2

Judgment is more than forming an opinion about something someone has said or done. It is holding them responsible for not measuring up to our specific code of conduct or action, even when we can prove it scripturally.

When we judge or condemn others (not always with our words but often with our attitudes), we bring that same judgment back on ourselves, and a vicious, self-perpetuating cycle repeats. Repentance for judging will produce the necessary cleansing so that communication without walls can take place. When we forgive and ask forgiveness, God is free to move on our behalves.

We can pray right now and make sure we are not judging pastors and others who do not seem to understand what we are doing.

Father, we come to you in the name of Jesus. We ask You to show us if there is legalism or judgment in our hearts towards our pastors or anyone else. Holy Spirit, shine Your light into any area we need to examine. Show us if we are arrogant or prideful. Lord, we repent and ask Your forgiveness. You say in Your Word that if we confess our sins, You are faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We thank You for cleansing us. Show us how to walk in love and forgiveness while holding up Your standard. Amen