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October, 2004

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A CHRISTIAN RESPONSE TO SPOUSAL ABANDONMENT
SUBMITTED BY A COVENANT KEEPER

When a spouse chooses to walk away from a marital commitment, the abandoned spouse can choose to put Christian principles to work amidst the hurt and the pain by embracing and following this pledge.

1. I choose to honor my vows and commitments as a declaration of my belief in the authority of scripture and as an expression of my own conscience. I do not do so as a way of trying to control my spouse, nor does this represent unrealistic wishful thinking. I do so in order to maintain my own integrity before God.

2. I commit to pray that God's spirit would be active in my life guiding me in all things - especially when I am confused and hurt; and I continue to pray regularly for my spouse that God's Spirit would be alive in his/her life.

3. I choose not to criticize my spouse for his/her actions but elect to concentrate on how God may be working in circumstances and situations that I cannot see. I choose to identify a few close friends to whom I can pour out my heart, but otherwise, I always choose to speak positively about my mate.

4. I acknowledge that no matter how hard I try, there is so much that is beyond my control. In fact, the harder I try, the more I realize that I cannot control anything or anybody—except myself. So I choose to let go and let God. Instead of interfering in the life of the other, I work on myself, to search my own heart and to let God use this experience to point out my dependence on Him.

5. I commit to demonstrating the meaning of faithfulness and family loyalty to our children so that they have a model upon which they can build their own marriage—realizing that the selfish decisions I might make could harm them even further and that the pattern I set will have an effect for generations.

6. I promise to do all that I can to maintain contact with my spouse's relatives and our mutual friends while recognizing that they too may have their own dilemmas and hurts. Without imposing myself unduly, I aim to show kindness to them even when seemingly ignored or forgotten.

7. I choose to maintain as many of my pre-abandonment patterns as possible rather than running away. I want to show constancy in the midst of trial and hurt so that I can deal with my life in an orderly and prayerful way. Rather than becoming isolated or difficult to be around, I work hard to be sensitive to the needs of others in order to be a true friend in anticipation that I might earn their friendship in return.

8. I choose not to dwell on unkind remarks or well-meaning but misplaced advice, but I will listen closely to God's Spirit in my heart and the advice of trusted friends. I choose not to develop animosity towards those who hurt me but instead to focus on those who help me.

9. I elect to fill my mind with positive and uplifting thoughts and music so that my attitudes and moods will be more stable and others around me will be uplifted. I acknowledge that doubts and discouragements will come my way, but I bring these feelings to God and ask Him to deal with them and lift me up and out of the pit by showing me the good things around me, that in self-pity I too easily forget.

10. I recall regularly that God wants me to bring my requests to Him, but my final prayer is, "Not my will, but Thine be done." I rest in peace and calmness knowing that He is in control. I walk in humbleness of spirit but possess an inner confidence from knowing that I am in His will.

A CALL TO PRAYER AND FASTING
BY MARILYN CONRAD

Each year on the last Saturday in October covenant keepers join together all over the world to observe Yellow Ribbon Day. Several years ago I sought the Lord’s direction for corporate prayer combined with fasting. That evening I turned on the television to watch the 700 CLUB, a Christian program. The hosts were praying and one said, “I keep seeing something yellow. I don’t know what it means, but God wants someone to know that what you are doing is right and it will be blessed by Him.” God confirmed what I was sensing in my spirit.

Fasting is a voluntary abstinence from food for one or more meals. No one is required to fast but everyone is invited and encouraged to participate. If you have never fasted before, perhaps you could fast one meal. If there are medical problems, you give up certain foods such as sweets or soft drinks. Another suggestion is to fast television and spend that time in prayer.

Fasting can be a key to spiritual power. Regardless of the kind of fast you choose, this day can change your own life and the lives of your family and your nation. Going without food and experiencing hunger is not scriptural fasting. Prayer, ministering to the Lord, and Bible study should accompany fasting. We should have a specific purpose to accomplish, and fasting gives us the extra time to wait on God and hear from Him.

Joel 1:4 says, "Consecrate a fast, proclaim a solemn assembly: gather the elders and all the inhabitants of the land to the house of the Lord your God, and cry out to the Lord." Isaiah 58 is our fasting guide from the scriptures and we suggest using several translations. Verses 6 & 7 say, "God’s chosen fast is to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free and break every yoke."

We must search and cleanse ourselves so that our prayers will be answered. The fact that personal problems in our lives have brought us to this day of fasting and prayer should only encourage us to ask God to cleanse and purify us, as well as our lands.

Because of our blood covenant with Jesus we can stand in the gap for our loved ones and believe God to do a mighty work. 1 Corinthians 13:8 says, "Love never fails." Love is the most powerful ingredient in fasting and prayer. In fact, without love our faith will not produce the results we desire. Galatians 5:6 says, "For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth anything, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love."

We need to allow God’s word to be the measuring stick for our love. Because of marital situations we tend to compare ourselves with our mates, and as a result, we often think we are very loving, forgiving people. However, Jesus and His word is the standard we must look to, not our mates or others. Let us examine ourselves before we begin this fast day according to Psalm 51:10, "Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right, persevering and steadfast spirit within me." Another scripture to read in several translations (including the Living Bible) is 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8. Any time we release love into a situation we are releasing Jesus and He is in control of the outcome.

Jesus loved us so much that He willingly died for us. In 1 John 3:16 we are told that in return we should lay down our lives for our brothers. What better way to show our love than through fasting and prayer? Remember, love never fails!

ANNUAL YELLOW RIBBON DAY OCT 31
A CALL TO PRAYER AND FASTING

Let's reclaim Halloween and make it a holy day… a day of prayer and fasting for our nation, our homes and our families. Many Christians participate in the festivities of Halloween because of lack of knowledge. They believe "trick or treating" and wearing costumes is innocent fun. However, the Word says we are to depart from the very appearance of evil.

Our alternative to Halloween is "Yellow Ribbon Day" and we spend the day praying for captives to be set free. A captive is anyone being held in bondage to addictions such as alcohol, drugs, gangs, occults, adultery or sexual perversion. We especially pray for salvation for our loved ones, friends and neighbors or those we work with. We pray for our nation and our leaders, our young people and our school systems. Participants tie yellow ribbons around trees, lamp posts or doorways to let others know that the occupants do not participate in the traditional Halloween practices. So invite your neighbors, friends and churches to join us October 31st.

Isaiah 58:6-7 says, "God's chosen fast is to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free and break every yoke." Joel 1:4 says, "Consecrate a fast, proclaim a solemn assemble: gather the elders and all the inhabitants of the land to the house of the Lord your God, and cry out to the Lord."