by Ken Savage

A teen comes home from baby-sitting three girls ranging from three to eight. The girls are a delight and usually the teen loves to sit for them. Today was different. It seems the father of the girls is divorcing their mother, and the effect on the girls is telling. The father stopped by to drop something off and immediately the three year old began to cry. No amount of comfort could calm her. When the father left, all of the girls wept bitterly. The teen was so moved by the hurt she was seeing in the eyes of those innocent victims of selfishness, she began to cry and weep. When she came home she wept again.

In another place across town a 17 year old boy feels the rage burning uncontrollably within his heart as another of his mother’s boy-friends has assaulted her and left with all the money for the month. He runs from the house intent on hurting someone: anyone. The rage will find release.

Next-door a fifteen year old is about to act out sexually so she can feel accepted by someone for a fleeting moment. Realizing that what she really wants is for her daddy to tell her he is proud of her, and that it is not her fault Mommy left, she walks into the bedroom and closes the door.

We are in a crisis situation, for there is a shortage of a commodity that is essential for proper development and emotional health - Fatherhood. This issue is critical for these reasons:

We learn about the Heavenly Father by experiencing our natural father. Jesus uses this comparison in Luke 11:11, "Now suppose one of your fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish will he?… If you being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?"

Fathers impart identity and destiny. The Heavenly Father imparted identity and destiny to Jesus at both His birth and His baptism. In Matt 1:21 an angel declares to Joseph, "…you shall call His name Jesus, for it is He who will save His people from their sins." At Jesus’ baptism a voice out of the heavens spoke saying, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." (Matt 3:17) Earthly fathers also impart identity and destiny. I call my sons and daughters by their callings, and speak words of faith into their lives.

Trust and faith are linked to our natural fathers and are transferred to the Heavenly father. I grew up without a father or a viable male role model. My mother had multiple boyfriends and all of them were abusive. I therefore had a difficult time trusting the love and acceptance of the Heavenly Father. Men had proven to be untrustworthy and to be held in contempt. This directly affected my relationship with God. This principle is seen in 1 John 4:20 "…for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen." Conversely, if I cannot trust my earthly father whom I can see, how can I trust a Heavenly Father whom I cannot see? Trust and faith are learned by example.

Fatherhood produces stability and security. I never realized how much my physical presence meant to my children until one day after preaching and giving an altar call, my eyes caught my daughter, Heather. I could see that the Holy Spirit was all over her and that the Father desired to use her. I nodded to her and she began to sing a beautiful song unto the Lord. She felt safe and secure because her father was there. This allowed her to feel secure with the Heavenly Father and with His leadings. God was glorified and Heather grew in her experience with God.

Fathers motivate and direct. "I can do nothing on my own initiative, as I hear, I judge; and my judgment is just; because I do not seek my own will but the will of Him who sent me." (John 5:30) It is natural for children to desire to please their parents, but for some reason the approval of the father takes on a special meaning. This is due in part because the father has been ordained by God to impart family blessings on his children. The passing on of the family blessings is something our Western civilization has long forgotten.

Fathers impart vision and the courage to accomplish that vision. When Jesus was in the desperate situation in the garden of Gethsemane, He cried out to God for His destiny to pass to another. Yet He always concluded, "Not My will but Thine be done." (Luke 22:42) It was the relationship Jesus had with the Father that gave him the courage and vision to take on the entire load of sinful man. Jesus became sin incarnate and died the death of one separated from the face of the Father. This was done based on the relationship Jesus had with His Father. He found courage in the relationship He enjoyed with His Father.

Fathers validate the accomplishments of sons and daughters. The resurrection of Jesus is the Father’s validation of the work and life of His Son. What greater demonstration could the world have of the Father’s approval and support of His Son? The resurrection is a sign that cannot be misread or misinterpreted. The life work of the Son was to deal with the sin of man and to bridge the chasm that sin created. The Son accomplished the task before Him, and the Father received that work through the demonstration of the resurrection. It is finished and the work is complete.

We have discussed seven principles of Fatherhood and the benefits of having those principles operate in your life and in the life of your children.

But what if your situation precludes a father’s influence in your life and/or in the lives of your children? What is to be done if you never have had your father speak words of identity and destiny over you? What if your father never told you he was proud of you or that he was sorry for the unresolved hurts he may have caused you? What if you are a divorced woman standing for your marriage healing and your children are fatherless for the moment? What is one to do in this fatherless generation?

CRY OUT TO ABBA FATHER. I was fatherless. I never knew my dad until I was married, and then he died shortly thereafter. I grew up without a dad, but I had the Heavenly Father. The key was to understand that He was my father, my mother, my brother, my companion, my all in all. In a fatherless generation the Heavenly Father has given you the right to become His sons and daughters.

Cry out to the Father who has intimate knowledge of you. Cry out to the Father who has given you all things pertaining to life and godliness. Cry out to the Father who has the power to heal and change the situations that confront you. Do not allow the circumstances of your situation to convince you that you are alone in your plight. Cry unto our Father. Allow Him to address your identity and destiny.

Listen to the words He speaks to you. His words are security and direction to those who listen. Pray the Father’s words over your children. Help them to understand the love of the Heavenly Father. His arms are your strength. His words are your hope. His provisions are your healing. His calling is your vision. His Spirit is your comforter.

We can raise our children, regardless of our circumstances, to hear the voice of the Heavenly Father. He is the source of all that we need to become the men and women of God we are called to be. Our salvation and the salvation of our children have been provided for by the death of our Father’s first Son. By faith, we are also now the sons and daughters of God.

The principles mentioned above can operate in your life and in the lives of your children by simply coming to God as Father, and by allowing Him to speak into your life. Cry out to Father God, Abba Daddy, He will speak the love and healing that you need for your child heart to be healed. Abba will speak to your children’s hearts as you direct them to Him. Be assured the Heavenly Father is more than able to compensate for the fatherless. He is God and He is your Father.

As holidays approach, we all try to spend time with family. Distance and school hinders me, but my two "greatest daughters" help me to keep focused. The fact that they are staying with the most important lady, my wife, is just huckberries on cheese cake for me! So, the 440 mile trip to see them gives me time to talk with God.

While on the way to see and photograph both the seventeen and fourteen year old in a parade, I read Isaiah 44:3 "for I will pour water on the thirsty land and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants." As a father who wants his family healed and who is concerned that his girls are living in a house void of the Word, understandably the "B" portion of that verse was a promise to me. Along with the Psalm, "great will be the peace of your children". His promise to "pour His spirit on them" was so great! I just read and reread this gift from God for the next 400 miles.

Re-reading and meditating on those two scriptures, the first portion of Isaiah 44:3 became louder. "Lord, am I thirsty?" Psalm 42:1 says, "As a deer desires water so the person who desires God's will, which is His Word, for his life and each situation is thirsty." But, "…streams on the dry ground," I did not understand.

Returning to the office on Monday, some study produced the Hebrew for streams as … causing to flow… gush out. The NIV uses flood. Dry is …to be ashamed…disappointed, confused (as failing). Ground is … soil …earth …husband. You could write this… "to flow, gush out, the ashamed, confused, disappointed husband." This spoke to me that God has a flow that He will pour out. The knowledge that He was speaking to me and hearing my heart was special encouragement.

God is speaking to every husband who has been ashamed by, disappointed in, and confused by his situation and circumstances as a Covenant Keeper. "Be the husband, the ground which supports the family built on the Rock."

Note: This article was written in 1989 when Charles was standing for the healing of his marriage. Charles and Rita Holland were reunited later that year and now lead a group for us.

Reprinted from "A Journey" by Sara, a collection of writings on the emotions of the journey of a Covenant Keeper. This mini book is available for $2.00 US, $3.25 Canada, $4.50 International. All funds must be in US dollars and include postage and handling.