Frequently Asked Questions About Keeping Covenant

Friends make comments like, "Put your mate on the altar and go on with your life. Your mate has a free will. God never takes anything away without providing something even better." How should I respond to comments like these?

Many friends act out of compassion when they encourage you to "go on with your life." While the encouragement to find someone else is misguided, there is truth about releasing our mate to God and continuing to strengthen our walk with Him rather than remaining mired in misery.

It was when Abraham stopped trying to fulfill the covenant he had with God and released it by being obedient and placing Isaac on the altar that he began to walk in the blessing and provision of the Lord. (Gen 22)

We need to let go of our mates and put them on the altar so God can work His will and purpose in their lives. In no way does this mean we stop praying, confessing the Word or doing spiritual warfare on their behalf. It simply means we are letting God move while we allow Him to work in our own life. The result will be peace. However we must not mistake this peace as God releasing us from our stand. We have simply entered into the believer's rest that comes from taking our hands off the situation and releasing it to God.

It is true that God does respect freedom of choice. It is also true that Satan does not. As a result, we should intercede for our mates so that the Lord will bring provision and people across their path that will lead them to choose God's best.

The best response to these comments is one that does not reject what they say, but rather acknowledges with gratitude their care and concern for you. The daily demonstration of God's grace as you walk this out in your life will do more to teach your friends about God's covenant love and His will toward marriage healing than any verses you could use to "prove" your position.

As we trust God to heal our marriage, it is natural for the desire for reconciliation to become a burden. It is not until we relinquish our mates and our situations that God can move on our behalf, which He desires to do. What does 1 Peter 5:7 tell us to do?

According to Ps 55:22, what is the result? Read Matt 7:3-5. When we release our mate to God, we do not judge or condemn. That means we do not try to use scripture or logic to convince them they are wrong and should come home. We also "go on with our life" by focusing on what God wants to remove and change in our life. Read Luke 6:37-38. What should be our actions toward our mate? According to James 4:11, we become not a "doer" but a judge if we speak evil about our mate. Read Rom 2:13 and James 1:22-25. What results from being a "doer?" The preceding lesson is from the curriculum unit entitled "Frequently Asked Questions About Keeping Covenant." You can purchase the Series One curriculum that contains the FAQ lessons along with "How To Pilot Your Marriage Through A Storm", "The Armor Of God", "Binding & Loosing", "Faith To Heal Your Marriage" and "Freewill And Your Marriage" for $16.25 (US Shipments),$17.00 (Canadian Shipments), $21.00 (International Shipments). Shipping and Handling is included. You may also purchase any of these individual lessons for $4.00 (US), $4.25 (Canada), $5.75 (Int'l). Write in what you want to order on the order page.

A WORD FROM MARILYN

Marilyn Conrad
President and Founder of Covenant Keepers, Inc.

DO I DARE HOPE?

I. Are you afraid to hope? Or do you want to just play it safe, because you might get hurt or disappointed again? Maybe your circumstances do look impossible. You can't see any way your marriage can be restored, so why hope? God wants us to hope. He gives us reason to hope in His Word. Look up the following scriptures and write them.

Romans 8:28

Psalm 37:5

II. These are great promises. Our Father tells us to put our trust in Him and He will act. He will work everything for good just for you. Isn't that a good reason to hope? Do you know anyone else that can make these promises and keep them? God gives us even more reason to hope.

Psalm 37:4

Psalm 112:7

III. God knows your heart and He understands that there are doubts. He understands that we may look foolish to other people. He even has an answer for these thoughts and feelings with this promise.

Romans 10:11

IV. Meditate on these words, think about them daily and let them go into your mind and spirit. A new hope will rise up inside you. You will have more energy, more peace and more joy.

Isaiah 40:31

When we dare to hope, and rely on the Word of God, we begin to see a vision of a healed marriage that is the desire of our heart.

DOES GOD CARE?

I. Are you discouraged? Do your problems seem overwhelming and you can't see a way out? David felt that way. He was anointed King when he was 16 and yet waited 22 years before he became King. He suffered many trials and poured his heart out to God in the Psalms.

List some of the ways David felt from the following Psalms:

Psalm 6:6-7

Psalm 143:4

II. We have all experienced these feelings of desperation, loneliness, hopelessness, and despair, but God hears our pleas. What does God say when we cry out to Him?

Psalm 34:17

Psalm 126:5

III. David knew that God heard his cries for help and he put his trust in Him and he became King and ruled over Israel 40 years. God delivered David and he reaped in joy. The Lord does hear our prayers. He does care. He even tells us what to do about our problems.

1 Peter 5:7

IV. God is concerned for you and your marriage. He knows the pain, the hurt and the problems caused by separation from your mate. He knows the difficulty involved in sticking it out and living through the day to day difficulties. God has plans for you and your marriage. He is your help and will heal and build strength in your marriage to then help others through you.

Jeremiah 29:11

2 Corinthians 1:4

Turn to God and trust in Him as David did. He will hear you. He will comfort you. He will deliver you. He will use you!

DOES GOD ANSWER PRAYERS?

I. Abraham must have wondered if God really meant what He said when He told Abraham and Sarah they would have a child. Abraham was 100 years old and Sarah was 90 years old. That looked pretty impossible.

Read the following scripture and write the verse.

Genesis 18:14

II. As you know Abraham and Sarah had Isaac just as God had promised. Do you know why God blessed Abraham?

Genesis 15:6

III. We can see that the situation looked impossible. Abraham and Sarah were far past the ages of conceiving a child. But Abraham had already put his trust and his faith in God for the impossible. What does God say about the impossible?

Luke 1:37

Mark 10:27

IV. So we know God can do the impossible, but what else is necessary in order for us to receive this from God?

Mark 9:23

James 1:6

V. We see that God worked miracles for many people in the scriptures. Another miracle the Lord performed was the raising of Lazarus from the dead. What did Jesus say to Martha in John 11?

John 11:40

VI. Marriage problems can really look impossible. As you can see from these scriptures God loves the impossible. He can give new life to your marriage. To see God's glory be manifested in our own situation we must have faith and trust, and believe in Him--not other people. If you are having trouble seeing a miracle for your impossible situation, go to your Father, pour out your heart and tell Him you need His help to believe.

HOW CAN I FORGIVE?

I. You have probably heard the story of Joseph, whose brothers sold him into slavery. Joseph's brothers told their father, Jacob, that he was dead. Joseph spent many years as a slave and many years in prison. How angry he must have been. He must have had feelings of resentment, bitterness and revenge. He had been abandoned by his loved ones and forgotten as if he were dead. Before Joseph's father died he asked him to do something. Write what he told him to do.

Genesis 50:17

II. Joseph was obedient and forgave his brothers. He told them how God had taken the evil they had done and brought it to good. God blessed his whole family. Our Father tells us in His Word what to do when we have been hurt deeply. Write out the following.

Ephesians 4:32

III. Although there is so much pain and our emotions tell us that we have a right to bitterness, rage and anger, we must be obedient. God is very explicit about forgiving others.

Matthew 6:12

Mark 11:25

IV. Even the apostles wondered about forgiving. Jesus didn't say when others repent and say they are sorry, then forgive. He set the example for all of us. No one has suffered as Jesus, yet in His agony He did not wait to forgive.

See Luke 23:34

V. Every day we suffer hurts and injustices from others and from our families. We must not wait. We must forgive. If you are having difficulty with this, ask Jesus to help you speak the words of forgiveness out loud just as He did. He will help you and He will bless you for your obedience.

HOW DO I PRAY?

I. Do you need help in your prayer life? When you are in a desperate situation or a crisis, you know that it is time you really need to pray. Yet sometimes it is hard to put our needs into words. Have you ever wanted to pray for someone else and yet you didn't know what to pray? How does one pray? Jesus said He would send us a Helper, someone to help us pray. Look up the following scripture.

John 14:26

II. The Holy Spirit, our Helper, our Counselor, our Comforter, is the one who can pray through us. He can intercede for us to God. We can pray from our own understanding, but the Holy Spirit prays the will of God.

Romans 8:26

Romans 8:27

III. When we allow the Holy Spirit to pray through us in the language of the Spirit, we are coming into a spiritual realm. We are getting a glimpse of God's realm. We come into His presence and are lining our prayers up with His will. All 120 in the upper room, including the apostles and Mary, the mother of Jesus, experienced this special language or tongue of the Holy Spirit.

Acts 2:4

IV. Praying in our spiritual language is a gift that we can use to intercede for the impossible situation. It is also our special love language between us and the Father. Write out:

1 Corinthians 14:2

V. As we come into God's presence and let the Holy Spirit pray for us, we will become closer and closer to the Lord. We will hear His will as the Spirit recalls it to us. Our spirit will become stronger and stronger.

Jude 20

Ephesians 6:18

VI. To receive you must ask and out of your belly shall flow rivers of living water.

Luke 11:13

John 7:38-39

As we yield our minds and tongues to the Holy Spirit, we will find a new dimension to our prayer life. We will have new understanding and become a more diligent intercessor. If you do not have this special language ask your Father for it. Surrender your voice to the Holy Spirit and allow His language to break forth.

"I thank you Father that I believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and that I am saved and my household as well." Acts 16:31

Marriage Is A Covenant

"… because the Lord was witness to the Covenant made at your marriage…" Malachi 2:14

Covenant Vows Contain

Promises

"love, honor, cherish & obey"

Terms

"for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Tokens

the wedding band represents our lasting covenant.

"My steadfast love I will keep for you forever… and My covenant will stand firm for you… I will not violate My covenant nor alter the Word that went forth from My mouth." Psalms 89:28, 34

I Corinthians 13:1-7 (TLB)

Love is:

very patient and kind,
never jealous or envious,
never boastful or proud,
never haughty or selfish or rude

Love:

does not demand its own way,
is not irritable or touchy,
does not hold grudges,
will hardly even notice when others do it wrong,
is never glad about injustice
rejoices whenever truth wins out

Love:

is loyal no matter the cost,
always believes in someone,
always expects the best
always stands your ground in defending him.