A Stander, by His Amazing Grace
This is my story: After many attempts to write my story I think it’s time to just put it out there. It feels a bit surreal as I sit here typing, thinking that as much faith I believed I had, I still doubted. I still think can this be real? Has this really happened? One month from this day that I write my story (November 17, 2017) my beloved and I will be re-marrying after being divorced for one and a half years!
May 1, 2014 was the infamous day that rocked my world and changed my life as I once knew it. I was the happily married wife of an incredible man, with a home, nice cars, two beautiful children, and even a dog; all I was missing was the white picket fence.
I can’t say that I didn’t see it coming; I did. He began to disconnect the year prior and began saying he was leaving in January of 2014. I begged and pleaded, to him and to God. He left anyway; his mind was made up.
The next three years were definitely a period of growth with much pain through the process. But through it all the Lord sustained me to delve deeper into a relationship with Him, my Lord and Savior. It was not easy! I kicked and screamed and threw fits, wanting my way in my time; but His timing was not mine. My husband and I both had so much to learn through this journey.
I believe that the Lord began His work in me when I truly understood what it meant to surrender. I had been fighting Him up until then! Through my surrender I now had all the tools I needed to go forward. I was a Stander even before I knew what it really meant. Through my home church, sisters in Christ, CK meetings, mentorship by CKI Intercessor Lorraine Woodhouse, Bible devotions and spending personal time with the Lord, I slowly began to understand that delay was not denial. God loved me too much to let me have my way simply because I wanted it when I wanted it.
My husband also had to get right with the Lord before he was able to set things right with his family. He returned to church in December of 2016 and thus began the rebuilding of his relationship with God. We then began a friendship that was so natural and sincere. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if this was the real deal. He kept saying he didn’t want to get my hopes up since we had been spending so much time together. I kept taking it to the Lord and reminding myself that my hope was in Him alone. For Mother’s Day my husband invited me to the church he had been attending and I gladly accepted. They had started a series on marriage! Wow, I bet he didn’t see that one coming, but the Lord did!
July 31, 2017: Proposal
After the church service and lunch my husband was very pensive and asked to speak to me privately. He poured his heart out and said the Lord had been speaking to him for quite some time but he was not ready, not willing to surrender, but that today in service he decided to do so once and for all. He had already apologized and asked for forgiveness from me and our daughters. He knew the next step was to make right what he had let the enemy steal from him. He asked me to marry him (again). He didn’t have a ring, but that was ok, since I still wore mine. I took it off and he slipped it back on my finger. It was quite the moment! Just writing this I am overwhelmed by God’s amazing grace towards us. When He gives us a promise He will fulfill it in His timing!
So now, we are three weeks away from our marriage renewal. Everyday has been an opportunity to share of His amazing redemptive power. People doubted, were skeptical and at times I think even thought I was crazy, because who in their right mind would go through all that and still believe? Me, that’s who! Many times I would just cry out to the Lord to help me with my unbelief; and sure enough, I would re-focus and set my eyes back on Him who is more than able and He came through every time. I never stopped counting anniversaries, and by earthly standards we technically only made it to 19 years, but on November 17, 2017 we will celebrate 21 years because what the Lord has joined together, let no one separate.