Her Children Bless and Respect Her
Guest Article reprinted from August 2007 newsletter:
A little over three years ago my husband started living with the other woman. When I advised him that I wasn’t at peace with our children staying overnight in that set-up he responded by applying for custody of two of our sons.
After much prayer and soul searching I felt I was not to contest his application but to allow the boys to go and live with him. It was heartbreaking to know that my precious children would be living in that environment.
Devastating though that decision was, I felt God saying He would protect them even in that ungodly situation and that He would teach them and enable them to learn lessons they could not otherwise learn. When my husband first left I undertook in my spirit not to speak anything against him, so I felt very limited as to what I could say to the children about the circumstances we were in.
Over the last few years, you have published in Covenant Comments several accounts of God’s miraculous material provided through this awful time. Now He is blessing me with insights into the spiritual dimension too.
Yes, He is honoring His promise that He would guard and teach my sons. Recently they opened up about many things that they have seen and pondered.
- They recognize that their father is blinded and bound by bitterness and anger.
- They realize that his attitude mars his relationship with them to the extent that they can hardly wait to leave his house. Consequently, they spent most of the school holidays at home with me and our youngest daughter.
- They can see that their father is not really happy or at peace.
- Conversely, they can see that I am not bitter. They sense a feeling of peace and wellbeing in our home (which flows from being focused on God) that they really miss – this from teenage boys!
- They have said that if they knew then what they know now they would never have left.
- They can see that the establishment they are in is a house divided with two totally un-integrated factions.
- For Christmas they gave me a book which the older of the two inscribed on the front cover with “Just thought I’d let you know what an awesome mum you are and I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Proverbs 31:28, “Her children rise up and call her blessed [happy, fortunate, and to be envied]” (Amp)
- For a while, after they started living with their father I had to “fumigate” the boys’ language when they came home for visits. They were obviously surrounded by profanity at the other house. Now, as I have been teaching them to drive, I hear such comments as “Thank you, Jesus” and “Help me here, Lord” muttered under their breath as we are driving along. What a joy and blessing to a mother’s heart to hear her teenage sons muttering such things, instead of the profanity spoken in the place where they are have been living.
In all this reflection they are discerning that it is a life focused on God, trusting and obeying Him, that brings real peace even in the face of heartrending sadness.
Their characters are being molded by God even in the ungodly environment; so much so that the elder of the two has recently been appointed Head Boy of his college out of nearly 200 final year students – all of this despite his only going there for the last three years instead of the normal four or five for college leaders. He has to work very hard to achieve moderate academic results so his selection has been based on his character and leadership qualities rather than academic prowess. He seems to be admired by staff, pupils and their parents. When his appointment was announced the whole auditorium exploded into cheers, which was quite overwhelming for this still hurting, but immensely proud, mother.
I hope and pray that God will continue to protect and teach my sons regardless of their environment.
I also hope that other covenant keepers, agonizing over their children being in perhaps less than ideal situations, can find encouragement from this testimony that God will be a Father who leads nurtures and protects their children.