Letter from a Leader to a New Stander
We can feel your pain. We thank God that you were able to contact the CKI ministry. We are a family and you can be sure that we are praying for you and for your spouse.
You shared the following: “I am feeling empty, hurt, humiliated and angry. I just want to leave everything behind and go somewhere and start all over. Why do I have to pray for my husband who did all those things to me? He is enjoying life while I am the one suffering. If God does hate divorce why did He allow this to happen. I am tired of being the good wife and merely existing. Don’t I deserve better?”
I want to assure you that God’s Word doesn’t change and His promises are yes and amen. The son of God experienced all that we as standers have and are going through. Yeshua was humiliated, but He forgave because they didn’t know what they were doing.
All sorts of emotions rise within us when “life isn’t fair.” In part, you are asking, “How do we deal with these emotions?” Know that our source of life and strength comes from our Savior, Jesus Christ, and we need to cling to Him. Pray to Yeshua and ask Him to help you and be quick to forgive. It’s a day by day journey. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. When you really trust God, He will start changing you first.
Permit God to heal you. Permit Him to make you a new person in His image. It’s a process and it takes time, but you will become a woman of wisdom and knowledge if you permit God’s awesome grace to flow through you. God loves marriages and He created marriages to last till death. It breaks God’s heart when marriages break apart. You are not alone, dear sister, as God is on your side. God is a restorer. He creates new things and you will see them if you do not give up.
The weapons we fight with are not carnal (disputes, quarrels, accusations, etc.). Our weapons are spiritual: prayers, fasting and God’s Word. It’s God’s way. We sometimes (maybe even many times) get desperate because “nothing seems to be happening in the timing we hope for or expect.” But God! We have to walk by faith and not by sight (what we hear, see or others tells us about our spouse). Believe God. He is more than able to change your situation.
Continue to pray and do good, and in due time you will reap your harvest. If you don’t pray for your husband, who will? When we made our vows we said, “in good times and in bad times.” It is in these difficult times that our vow to our spouse has great value. We must be different than the world because we walk in His light.
We as believers of Yeshua must trust Him in the good and the bad times. Start to spend more time in His Word. Praise Him more. Pray in the spirit. Memorize His word. Be involved with a CKI group – local or online. And most importantly, “zip your lips.” Be still, wait on the Lord and let God work it out.
I have listened to many testimonies of restored marriages. They always say, “my marriage is better now than it was then.” Both you and your husband deserve better. The secret is that when we pray we find that God will change us first and then our spouse.
Keep the faith. Don’t quit. Stand strong and you will see God’s salvation.
Sylvia De Freitas – Group leader for NC residing in Curaçao