New Smartphone App
As I was reviewing some old material I came across the following article written a few years ago. Some of you may remember it. I confess I wrote it in a light-hearted and joking manner – but as I reflected on it I realized that the “issues” outlined in the development of a “Stander’s App” are with us today as much as when the article first appeared.
I hope reading or re-reading it brings you both a smile and some thoughtful introspection.
Soon to be available for your iPhone or Android device – The Stander’s App!!! Why not? It seems that there is an “app” for almost everything else. Let’s agree on the specifications for The Stander’s App and see if any developer is brave enough to try to build it.
Some important functionality would include items such as:
1. It must be user friendly (whatever that means).
2. It would have to be intuitive on usage – no mandatory reading of the user manual.
3. Functions would have to be progressive so that you start at “square one” and proceed in a linear manner to completion.
4. Disaster recovery – so that if you mess up it resets and brings you back to the same step. (This is a debatable function if you are just going to mess up again.)
5. Interaction with every social media channel available now and in the future – so the whole world knows how well we are doing in our stand (and has the opportunity to comment).
6. Optional timing functions so that we can specify the length of the stand in days, weeks, months or (gulp!?) years.
7. Options to choose who changes – me or my spouse?
8. Lastly, an uninstall feature so that if I am not satisfied with the performance of the app or just get tired of trying to make it work, I can toss it and try something else.
Do you think there might be a few issues with the development of these functions? Issues such as:
1. A covenant stand for marriage is not usually user friendly (at first). It seems most people including family, friends and even your pastor are telling you to “move on with your life” and “they don’t deserve you,” with adjectives like stupid, jerk, and moron thrown in as descriptors of your covenant marriage partner.
2. A covenant marriage stand is not intuitive; it is a conscious decision made in the midst of some of life’s most stressful times.
3. You do start at “square one” in the decision to stand on your marriage covenant. The progression from there is seldom linear and includes opportunities to “take three steps forward and two steps back” on many issues.
4. Disaster recovery in the real world is simple – you fall on your knees and confess to God that you messed up, ask for forgiveness, ask to have the answers revealed to you as you study God’s Word and learn from your mistakes.
5. Who needs to know of your stand? The simplest answer is – only God. However, we are built to interact through association with others. So having an opportunity to associate ourselves with like-minded believers (CKs) is beneficial to us for support, encouragement and learning Godly principles to apply toward marriage healing.
6. Timing – the question always asked by new standers (and sometimes those who are not so new) is, “How long, God?” Two verses come to mind – 1) “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” saith the Lord. Isaiah 55:8 (KJV) and 2) And he said unto them, “It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power.” Acts 1:7 (KJV).
7. This one is quite simple – you both must change. You don’t want your spouse back the way things were. You want the spouse back that God wants you to have. Likewise, you must change to become the spouse God wants you to be for your covenant spouse.
8. It saddens me to see a stander “give up,” “toss in the towel,” or “move on with life.” It means that Satan won another round. You can’t uninstall a covenant promise although you can give up on it. The covenant promise was “until death do us part” and “no man put asunder.” As long as one spouse says, “God, I’m standing on my marriage covenant vow,” that vow is binding and God will honor it.
As an electronic function The Stander’s App will not work. There is too much of our very human heart and soul to interface with for it to be practical. What will work? How about the CKI curriculum, group meetings, and other materials available through Covenant Keepers to help you in this very personal journey. Why don’t you sign up now?