Series 2 – Will I Stop Hurting?
To develop an understanding of how God functions in covenant with us to take our hurting emotions and bitterness and replace them with His healing and forgiveness.
- List three requirements that are needed to receive emotional healing.
- Explain how the principle of agreement is needed to stop the hurt.
- State three ways to achieve victory in your thoughts.
- Identify three Biblical principles that will help you walk in love.
The disappointments, rejection and unfulfilled expectations from a marriage breakup leave wounds that with time develop scabs of bitterness. Bitterness leaves an ugly scar in our lives and makes our spirit less sensitive to God’s leading. Left untreated it continues to cause pain both to us and to others. Wounds from broken relationships infect new relationships and provide entry for problems in the future.
A man asked a covenant keeper to accompany him as he went inside to pick up cardiac medicine from his home. He and his wife were in the midst of a domestic dispute and his wife was using the medicine as leverage with him. They were in the process of separating (again) and it was obvious that the hurt and bitterness was totally blocking any rational communication. Where there is strife there is bound to be confusion. The man did get his medicine and as soon as the couple parted, the strife ceased, but the hurt and the bitterness continued.
God’s desire is to work restoration: to create healthy new supple skin where before there was only a scab and a painful wound. In this lesson we will find how to obtain this deep and complete healing through applying principles found in scripture in three basic areas.
The process of healing the hurt within us and removing it is a primary step toward restoration and reconciliation of a marriage. When we have received healing, we will be more effective in praying for and relating to our spouses as well as others.
While we all have the tendency to focus on the problems of our spouses, the most important aspect of the overall healing of our marriages is the healing and renewing of our own broken hearts. Most of us who have been through a marital breakup are familiar with feelings of rejection within ourselves. Often, wounds that occurred before the marriage, even during childhood, affect marriages. Satan starts early in life to build in problems that will lead to a breakdown of communication and destroy marriages when the children get older.
No Man Is an Island
Anyone who has flown on an airline is familiar with the directions that are given to passengers before every flight about the emergency oxygen masks: “Parents with small children should first place the masks on themselves and then assist their children.” While that sounds almost cruel, it is a fact that an unconscious parent would be useless in assisting their child. This same principle is found twice in the gospels where we are told to, “First, take the log out of your own eye. Then you can see how to take the speck out of your friend’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5 & Luke 6:41-42, Contemporary English Version) It is when we are healed that God can most effectively use us to bring the ministry of reconciliation. That was the mission of Jesus to the world and it is our mission to our families. (See 2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
To stop hurting we need support and agreement from others. Scripture teaches that when two or more are in agreement, a spiritual dynamic exists that permits supernatural events to occur. In reconciling our marriages we need all God’s power at our disposal. It is imperative that we use the power of agreement to assist in the healing process. Just as disagreement helped create the problem, agreement can be used to help bring the solution. Look at Genesis 11:6-7 to see the weakness inherent in discord and Deuteronomy 32:29‑31 and Matthew 18:19 to see the power released by agreement.
Find friends that can be in agreement with you for your healing. When we seek support from individuals who are not like-minded, we invite further hurt, disappointment and discouragement. Don’t share your details with those who do not understand or agree with your covenant position. To maintain close friendships with those who take the world’s view instead of the Word’s view is spiritually dangerous. Sharing with those who don’t understand only leads to gossip, discouragement, sympathy and ungodly counsel. Proverbs 10:20-21 provides a contrast of good and poor advice.
At this time you need the support of friends—the right friends! So do not avoid friendships. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Ask God for a friend who will be a prayer partner who will help you function in the power of agreement. In using the power of agreement it is important that you not only be in agreement with each other, but also in agreement with God’s Word. (Matthew 18:19 and Philippians 2:2)
Three Keys for Healing
What three areas will we study that will bring healing to our broken hearts and renewal to ourselves?