Ten Recovery Steps after Being Misjudged
You’ve been there. Your intentions were misread. You meant one thing and someone inserted their own interpretation of your motives. The sting is all you can see for the moment. What are the steps to take when something as damaging as this hits you broadside?
- Acknowledge the sting. The wound. The hurt. Especially if the person is close to you. Minimizing the pain just sends it underground to surface in a different form to be dealt with another day. It’s going to hit you sooner or later; this way you get to pick the position you are in when it hits.
- Consider the source. It could be they are just a poor judge of character. And others will eventually know the same, for the truth rarely stays hidden.
- Quit replaying your defense. Don’t stay angry at what anger can’t fix. Better to use your mind for growing than for moaning. Begin cutting a new path in your mind toward recovery right now.
- Ask honestly. Are you more concerned about what other people think about you or what you think about you? Being grounded can only be determined under stress and this is your opportunity. Being an acceptance-freak makes for a weary life.
- While you are still being honest, ask if there is a thread of truth in what was suggested. It takes character to examine your character. Treat the event with the possibility of truth and see where it takes you.
- Practice forgiveness 101, mercy 201, love 301. Pour them out toward the one who misrepresented you. This releases you to be rational. The person probably has greater battles of their own to overcome.
- Look for the path that might have led them to their conclusion. This will show you their rationale. Regardless of its accuracy, you can take measures to prevent the misreading from happening again.
- View it as your opportunity to grow. You would have never looked this closely at the bare metal of your motives. If you are truthful, you will see what you need to see.
- Don’t share with others how you have been misjudged. It just pets your hurt, gives life to what should die and condemns the one who condemned you.
- Realize that on this side of eternity, the impact is greater in your mind than it is anywhere else. Never let the little rob you of the important. And there are but a few things important.